The only thing I know about Enrique Iglesiasis that he banged Anna Kournikova – or still is? Honestly I have no idea, but since he was tapping it by 2001 when she was still relevant it’s pretty braggable. Also terrifying considering before his 135 frame was underwhelming her she was taken to town by half the Russian Olympic hockey team. None of this seems to bother him in this pic though as he fills his male friend full of Goosey-goodness.
“You think think we’re doing enough to put ourselves out there? I mean your panties are showing and we’re both giving “fuck me” eyes but do these dudes realize I want to be split like firewood?. I know, I’ll fellate the bottle while you make a kissy face. Yeah, yeah, that’s it. We’re so getting clamydia tonight.”
I don’t like to brag, but this site is a pretty big deal in the UK. Quite factual really. I attribute it to their ever growing Goose Douche population across the pond as well as the fact they all wear monocles. I’m not sure what the correlation there is, but it’s difficult to avoid. As such submissions from over there have been pouring in – and by pouring I mean this is like the third.
Per the email:
It’s about time someone high-lighted these utter muppets.
Attached is a photo, the guy with the bottles is called Olly, an estate agent from London who likes to go out in the west end for 1 weekend a month after payday acting like he’s famous spending $500 (they ramp the prices up in west end clubs) per bottle, but still never gets laid.
Even when he try’s to mix it up with Belv and Goose, disgraceful.
Thank you James, and good luck to our friends in the UK.
These rare and majestic Douche Cougars were spotted on sorryimissedyourparty.com; a site so clever I’m embarrassed I didn’t beat them to it. Simple concept…scan Flickr for douchey party pics and post them. Everyone wins. This particular one was found in a album titled “30th Birthday” which I assume is some kind of inside joke or mathematical equation. Unless they grew up in a coal mine there’s no way anyone in that shot is even close to thirty. Possibly Casper the Friendly Ginger but the rest of them look like the Housewives of Des Moines. Despite their age they’re exuding the strong musk of Goose Douchery. I’m talking to you with the bad highlights and the sunglasses. If nothing else this site has taught us all that the Goose Douche transcends race, gender, culture and apparently age. Rawr.
Courtesy of: Sorry I Missed Your Party
Despite the fact this image appears to have been taken from a 1960s Russian spy satellite, I’m pretty sure that’s a bottle of Goose the words most beloved felon is pouring into her glass – and not just because the file is called lindsay-lohan-pouring-grey-goose-vodka-1.jpg.
Is this a shocker? Well, she’s an alcoholic, and a douchebag, and Grey Goose is for douchebags, so buy my power of deduction I would say the only thing surprising about this picture is she’s wasting her time with the glass.
I know what you’re thinking. “Those are clearly nerds, not douchebags. This site is about fist pumpers chugging from the bottle, not dudes in wizard hats.”
Stop being so narrow minded playa! Sure, Jersey guidos and the way of the Goose Douche are intrinsically linked, but you don’t need an orange tan and an Affliction shirt to be a GD.
Ultimately, Goose Douchery is about peacocking – the act of being douchey to get attention. Rather than a majestic ploom of feathers, the Goose Douche grabs a the bottle and licks it, fake chugs it, bottle squats it, or whatever it takes to let everyone know how they roll . Which is why half the hits to this site are for people Googling, “giant bottle of Grey Goose”. If that’s how you found the site, guess what, you’re a douche!
Unless Gandalf over here is about to cast a magical spell to make his friend less Eurotrashy or to get those chicks unmatching outfits, then that hat is equivalent to bad facial hair or Gucci sunglasses on a Jersey guido. “Hey everyone, look at me, I’m a douche!”
“Yo playa, you know all that Goose I stole from my parents? I know we were planning on posing with the bottles and then drinking it and shit, but what if we put it all bathtub and threw some Asian chicks in it? BALLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!! OK, so you start popping bottles and I’ll holla at Mai Lyn and Yen Lee.”
Or at least I assume what happened in this picture submitted by sexy reader Dana. I mean a Google search for “tub of vodka” turned up 1,670 responses, so it’s the logical explaination, right?