The Douche Goose is Sexy, Slutty
“You think think we’re doing enough to put ourselves out there? I mean your panties are showing and we’re both giving “fuck me” eyes but do these dudes realize I want to be split like firewood?. I know, I’ll fellate the bottle while you make a kissy face. Yeah, yeah, that’s it. We’re so getting clamydia tonight.”

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I’m pretty sure looking at this picture for more than 1.5 seconds gives you crabs