All the Playas at Hogwarts Love the Goose

I know what you’re thinking. “Those are clearly nerds, not douchebags. This site is about fist pumpers chugging from the bottle, not dudes in wizard hats.”

Stop being so narrow minded playa! Sure, Jersey guidos and the way of the Goose Douche are intrinsically linked, but you don’t need an orange tan and an Affliction shirt to be a GD.

Ultimately, Goose Douchery is about peacocking – the act of being douchey to get attention. Rather than a majestic ploom of feathers, the Goose Douche grabs a the bottle and licks it, fake chugs it, bottle squats it, or whatever it takes to let everyone know how they roll . Which is why half the hits to this site are for people Googling, “giant bottle of Grey Goose”. If that’s how you found the site, guess what, you’re a douche!

Unless Gandalf over here is about to cast a magical spell to make his friend less Eurotrashy or to get those chicks unmatching outfits, then that hat is equivalent to bad facial hair or Gucci sunglasses on a Jersey guido. “Hey everyone, look at me, I’m a douche!”

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02 2011

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  1. ms_v #
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    I am not even that upset about the Goose Douching really. What does make me furious is the fact women (and anyone) are wearing denim jackets, but not just denim jackets! No no…denim jackets that f**king MATCH! Ladies if your goal was to get your vagina out of the parched desert it currently is in than you have failed. But judging from those guys next to you, I can see why looking like butch lesbians is a complete advantage.