A Gaggle of Douche


Much like sorority chicks, the Goose Douche travels in large homogenous herds of similarly douchey compatriots. This is partially due to the fact that they’re typically not too bright – they don’t know many big words. By traveling in large packs they’re able to pool their limited mental resources. Similarly, the Goose Douche fears individuality. Having to contibute intelligent thought rather than group think is the reason they’re drinking the Goose in the first place. That shit’s baller. It’s just how the Goose Douche rolls.

Trying to decide the biggest douche in this picture is like trying to decide what stinks worse between poop and vomit. Sure the easy choice is the punk holding the bottle with the Zack Effron hair and popped collar, but that’s too easy. For my money it’s buddy rocking the sweater vest. He just has a look about him that screams he’d roofie his own friend’s drink so he could try to finger bang the guy’s girlfriend. Plus he’s wearing a sweater vest. Case closed.

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03 2009

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