Who’s Douchier Than This Guy?

douchevondouchebag

The guy behind him for starters. His left ear is tucked into his hat. I’m serious. IT’S LITERALLY TUCKED INTO HIS FUCKING HAT!!! And it’s doubtful that was done in an ironic way. That was a conscious decision. I can only see like 20% of this guy from the side and couldn’t be more certain of this guy’s douchisity. But that’s in large part due to the fact that nothing separates the losers from the uber losers like a well placed ear tuck. That guy deserves like an entire bathtub of the Goose. A gold one. Something worthy of how that playa plays. You heard?

But that’s not to take anything away from this train wreck in the foreground. Red Bull and Vodka huh? Welcome to 2001 buddy. And what in the name of all that’s good and holy is this guy wearing? It’s like a Christianity themed Ed Hardy shirt – because no one loves the Goose Douche as much as JC?  And the kind of look-away move that can only be correctly applied by a dude rocking exceptional douchocity. This dude is ready to party – or church.

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03 2009

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