Can’t Drink Legally But Can Still Accessorize

dPhoto submitted by Shaun Dog III.

I honestly don’t even know what to say here. Yeah, he doesn’t ACTUALLY have a bottle of Goose, but the belt buckle, the shirt to match the belt buckle, The other two erroneous shirts underneath the top shirt,  the pants so big they need to be held up by a  ratchet tie-down, the Sidekick hanging off his belt which one can only assume has Superman screensaver and a nearly intolerable ring tone, the smug look, the bad facial hair, the dog tag… it’s total douche-overload. This kid could write the Dummies Guide to Douchery if he was only literate – which is doubtful.

But the real coup de douche that takes this kid from a simple proletariat of Doucheland to the Prime Minister of Douchetopia is clearly his Grey Goose hat. I mean WOW. The very fact that he decided to get a Grey Goose hat made, (presumably from an Embroidery Kiosk in the mall), sets the the bar pretty high – especially considering he’s not a day older than 16. But as impressive of a feat as that is, he really takes it up a notch by coordinating his douchey 45 degree hat turn with  a calculated off-center print job that when combined actually centers the words. It’s douchily brilliant.

In honor of this kids commitment Goose Douchery I’ve decided to give him a bottle of the good stuff. Way to go playa. Keep up the bad work. G4L.



I can’t even rate him. This kid is setting the standard that all Goose Douches aspire to.

About The Author


Other posts by

Author his web site


03 2009

2 Comments Add Yours ↓

The upper is the most recent comment

  1. Goose Luva #

    OK, I agree with you on this one. My bad about the other post.

  2. dsc1430 #

    GBA. That is all you can say. GBA! (God Bless America)