The Goose Douche Must Be Stopped!

Douche bags are an interesting phenomenon. Harder to kill than Keith Richards, every generation seems to have their  archetypal douche.  In Enter text here.antiquity there was Judas, at the turn of the century it was anyone who wore a monocle, in the 80s it was dudes who drove IROCs, in the early 90s it was black guys with ridiculously tall hair, in the early 00s in was anyone with a trucker hat that wasn’t pullin’ a rig, and today it’s the Goose Douche.

goosedouche

Ahhh, the Goose Douche. Both ridiculous and tragic – yet somehow not ridiculously tragic. They inhabit any bar, club, or lounge with bottle service, and take that opportunity to drop all the money they earned from their job at Staples to get a bottle of liquid opulence – Grey Goose. For the Goose Douche it has nothing to do with enjoying the taste, brand loyalty, or an other intrinsic thought – just the fact that it’s baller. They pose with what amounts to a $60 bottle of booze like it’s a Ferrari Enzo, then send the pictures out to their 16 year old Jersey trash girlfriend on their Sidekicks.

There is nothing lower on this earth than the Goose Douche.

This site is dedicated to them. Spotting them. Rating them, studying them so we can eventual learn their weaknesses. One day we will beat the Goose Douche, that much I’m sure. But until that day I’m making sure I learn their ways so that if, god forbid, judgment day comes I can be ready.

Does the fate of the free world rest in me and this blog? Obviously.

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03 2009

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